Based on the episode Lost Love.
Other Chapters: 1, 3
I was called into my superior's office and given a dossier on my next assignment: a DXS agent named MacGyver. The DXS was involved with a dispute between the Soviet Union and a group of Estonian rebels, and naturally the KGB wasn't looking too kindly at the Americans sticking their noses into our business. Our intelligence indicated that MacGyver would be making contact with the rebels near the Baltic coast in October, and that gave me time to insert myself with them that summer, which wasn't difficult because I'm fluent in Estonian.
Back to MacGyver. His file was quite impressive. He had taken on assignments from all over the world, and he always managed to get the job done. Most amazingly, he completed his missions without the use of weaponry -- perhaps that was why he was consistently underestimated by his adversaries. His file photo showed him to be quite handsome in an American Boy Scout kind of way, but I had no reason to doubt my ability to stay detached.
We first met on a sunny, crisp day at the rebel camp, which was in a forest near the Poruni River. I was immediately struck by his gentle and polite manner -- uncommon traits in a male spy. And what started out as a congenial rapport quickly escalated into a torrid affair.
We had plenty of down time in the camp, and we often took long walks in the woods where we learned about each other. He was from Minnesota, an American state known for its cold climate and hearty people. It didn't take long for him to start confiding in me his most heartfelt wishes and fears, like how he longed to meet the right woman and settle down but that he couldn't bear the thought of getting close to someone and then losing them like he lost his parents.
Somehow this man with an overwhelming fear of commitment worked up the nerve to propose to me after one month. We were in a cabin lying in bed together when he pulled out a ring -- it was much too big, but there weren't exactly any jewelry shops nearby. I never expected to fall in love on the job, let alone have it happen so quickly, but he was just marvelous and a really good man who I loved being around and who made me feel safe.
I told him that I would marry him, but inside I knew that I needed more time to think. Unfortunately I didn't have that time -- all I had was two days before our fateful mission. He thought we were going to blow up a weapons depot, but there were no weapons there. The plan was to let him escape with a disk containing falsified data, specifically to make Soviet troops and tanks in Estonia seem much more numerous and formidable than they actually were, in hopes that the DXS would back off. And I was to appear to be killed with the possibility of using him as an asset if the need ever arose.
The night before our mission, he lay in bed next to me sound asleep while my mind was racing way too much for me to get any rest. What should I do? My heart wanted to forget the mission, tell him the truth, and find a way to go back with him to America. But I was scared -- scared of getting caught, scared of what the KGB would do to my parents, scared of always looking over my shoulder. While I considered myself a risk-taker, I just couldn't find a way to overcome my fear to be with the man I loved.
The next day as we were ready to move in on the facility, I was very fortunate not to cry as I kissed him. The rest of the plan went off without a hitch. As the sirens blared and I ran toward him, I looked up at him and our eyes met. I heard the sound of gunfire and I fell, pretending to be shot by the blank ammunition. My heart sank when I heard him cry out in horror. As I lay on the ground with my eyes closed, I prayed that I would have the chance to make it right with him one day.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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